Prudence

Description:

More than a story, Prudence is a conversation with the Self and an examination of the fine line between cautionsness and irrational fear. Although, as with so much of my early work, it was only in hindisght that I truly recognized the conflict in this painting's details.

By definition, the word prudence only tells half the story here. It tells the beginning.

So, in many ways, I see this image as another foretelling, much like Ambiguity. Although, rather than anticipating the experiential components of my journey through the Self, this psychological discourse tells of the silence and solitude that would ultimately become my home; not as a santuary (per se), which is intended to keep someone safe; but, as a controlled environment at my center, where I can actually host my own shadows, on my terms.

Ultimately, this trusted isolation is what has enabled me to analyze and decipher my work's hidden messages. And, I don't know if that would have been possible if I had let the distractions of the outside world in.

The contrast then, to the quiet equanimity found in this painting's surface, is once again present in the implied complexity of this painting's main subject, the inevitable "her", in whom the distinction between cautiousness and retreat (fear) was oftentimes obscured (for me).

Somehow, this grandiose and imposing "Her", whose intangible mysteries were beyond my comprehension, became a complication that needed to be resolved. In my mind, the raw material of "her", as an individual, was often transformed into an impregnable collective "her", ultimately depriving this delusion of any real humanity (which, ironically, is what I truly longed for the most).

In essence, this painting suggests that the paradoxical concept of "Her", which I courted, was the opposition to my composure that became both specter and muse; keeping the promise of love alive... but always out of reach.